A Dog, A Boy, And A Merc: REMASTERED
by The Jonny T Factor
Summary: What happens when everyone's favorite mercenary shows up at Finn and Jake's door, looking for the Ice King? R&R.


**Hey, The Jonny T Factor here, and I have yet another oneshot crossover. Now, over the past few years, of all the newer shows that are on Cartoon Network today, my favorite has to be 'Adventure Time'. It's random, unusual, and has humor for both children and adults. It's honestly a very entertaining show, with entertaining characters. When I started becoming interested in the show, I had also been a fan of Deadpool for awhile. And honestly, they fit together. Deadpool's random acts of stupidty, and his adult and childish humor would match Adventure Time perfectly. I actually thought that the idea would have been taken on this site, but clearly it hasn't. So, I hope you enjoy my Adventure Time/ Deadpool crossover.**

**Also, I do not own Adventure Time or Deadpool. Though, it would be awesome if I did!**

**A Dog, A Boy, and A Merc: REMASTERED**

* * *

><p>Finn and Jake sat around in their Tree Fort, playing video games on BMO.<p>

"Dude, I am so puttin' a hurtin' on your butt!" Finn states.

"Hey, no fair, I've got the broken controller!" Jake whines.

"That controller isn't broken." Finn says. Jake throws the controller, sending it against the wall, smashing it.

"It is now!" Jake states, pouting. BMO glares at Jake, as it stand and stomps away.

"Dude, you're such a sore loser!" Finn says, laughing a little, "So, what do ya wanna do now?"

"Eh, I don't know." Jake answers, "Guess we should just sit here and wait for life to throw us a curveball." The two sit for a moment, but nothing seemed to happen.

"...How long is this gonna take?" Finn questions, confused.

"I dunno, sometimes life's a fickle lady." Jake informs. Just then, there was a knock at the door. "See, there's life right now!" Jake states, as he gets up and walks over to the door. He opens it to find a figure stand there. The figure was tall, thin, muscular, and wore a full body, red and black, suit. He was carrying a lot of ammo, knives, guns, two katanas on his back, and explosives.

"Sup." the figure greets in a raspy tone, "You the Ice King?"

"No, do I look like the Ice King?" Jake replies.

"I dunno, haven't really watched Cartoon Network that much since they cancelled Ed, Edd n Eddy." the figure informs.

"What?" Jake questions, a little confused. Just then, Finn wonders over to the door.

"What's the deal, Jake?" Finn says, "Is life still being fickle or is she just shy?" Just then, he sees the figure and his eyes light up in awe. "Whoa, are you a superhero?" he questions.

"Depends, how much money you got?" the figure replies. Finn reaches into his pocket and pulls out a few dollar bills.

"Seven dollars." Finn answers. The figure snatches the money and puts it in one of the pockets on his belt.

"Okay, I'm a hero." the figure says, "...For now."

"Awesome!" Finn replies, excited, "I'm a hero too! My name's Finn. And this is my pal, Jake."

"Hi." Jake replies, smiling.

"Who are you?" Finn questions.

"Name's Wade Wilson." the figure answers, "But most people just call me 'Deadpool'. At least, they would... if I knew most people."

"Dude, that name is so awesome!" Finn states, "I wish I had a cool name like that! You must be new to the Land of Ooo."

"I've heard lamer names." Deadpool says, "Like The Jonny T Factor."

**[**He's watching us, you know.**]**

"No he isn't." Deadpool replies.

"Who's he talking to?" Jake whispers to Finn, a little confused.

"I don't know, just ignore it." Finn answers.

"Anyway, I'm looking for this 'Ice King' guy." Deadpool informs, "Getting paid five hundred-thousand to take care of him. If you know what I mean."

"Whoa, someone's paying you that much money to take care of the Ice King?" Finn questions in shock.

"Someone must really be concerned about his health." Jake says.

"Yeah, the state of someone's health or well-being does require a steep finacal investment." Deadpool states, "The job might be easy, but it is not cheap! The bills for ammunition and dry cleaning can be plenty costly."

**[**The late night Skinemax doesn't exactly help the problem either.**]**

"You say that now, but you never seem to speak up when I'm ordering the films." Deadpool informs.

**[**That's because we love boobies!**]**

"So anyway, could one of you guys show me where I cam find this jerk-off?" Deadpool questions, "And hell, if you guys help me with the job, I'll split the money with you, maybe."

"Sweet!" Finn replies, "Come on, Jake!" Finn and Jake rush outside with Deadpool. Jake grows in size and Finn leaps onto his back. "Hope on, Wade!" Finn says. Deadpool stares at Jake for a moment, then shakes his head.

"Please, I'm Deadpool, is there anything that in existance that can screw with my perception of reality?" Deadpool says, then hopes onto Jake's back, "Answer: Yes... Twilight." Deadpool shudders a bit.

"Dude, what's Twilight?" Jake questions Finn. Finn just shrugs, a little confused. Jake starts to walk through The Land of Ooo. Deadpool pulls out a Playboy and starts reading.

"Hey, what's that?" Finn questions, "Some kind of video game magazine?"

"Not really, but sometime's they have video game characters in here." Deadpool answers, "Ah, Mileena, someday... you will be mine."

"Can I see?" Finn questions, giving a puppy dog face.

"Sure." Deadpool answers, handing Finn the Playboy.

"Cool!" Finn says, then looks at the Playboy. His eyes widen, his jaw drops, and he freezes in shock.

"Yeah, that's the same reaction I had when I read my first nudie mag." Deadpool states, "Ahhh, traumatic, live altering experiences. Good times, gooooood times." As the group continues forward, Jake soon catches sight of a familiar face and stops in his tracks.

"Jake, why'd ya stop?" Finn questions, then sees what Jake saw.

"What are you guys looking a-HOLY OVERDOSING ACID TRIP!" Deadpool yells, seeing what the other two saw.

**[**Clever.**]**

"Thanks." Deadpool says. What the three were looking at was revealed to be Lady Rainicorn, as she flies down to the group.

"Hey, babeh!" Jake greets.

"Annyeong Jeikeu!" Lady Rainicorn replies, " Annyeong Pin!"

"Hey, Lady Rainicorn!" Finn greets, "Sup?"

"Manh-eun amugeosdo." Lady Rainicorn says, "Chingu neun nuguya?"

"Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool." Deadpool answers.

"Whoa, you can understand her?" Jake questions.

"Nah, just read the subtitles." Deadpool informs.

"Sub-what?" Finn replies, confused.

"Geugeos-eun , weideu mannaseo bangawoyo." Lady Rainicorn says, "Eodi se ganeun geojyo?"

"We're on our way to take care of the Ice King." Jake answers. Lady Rainicorn's face lights up in shock.

"Eol-Eum Wang?" Lady Rainicorn replies, "Wae?"

"I don't know." Jake answers, "I guess he's sick or something. Probably smallpox. Or some kind of nerd disease. Heh heh. Deadpool's being paid to take care of him."

"Can we hurry this up?" Deadpool questions, looking at a watch on his wrist, "I have a schedule to keep. Which involves the Golden Girls, chimichangas, and lots of online pornography."

"Gotta go, Lady." Jake says, "I'll meet you at our usual kissing spot later on, okay?" Lady Rainicorn studies Deadpool closely, a little concerned.

"Al-ass-eoyo." Lady Rainicorn replies, "Hajiman josim haeyahae."

"Don't worry, babe, we'll be fine." Jake states, then walks pass Lady Rainicorn, "See ya!"

"Bye, Lady Rainicorn!" Finn says, waving.

"Annyeong!" Lady Rainicorn replies, then flies off.

"So, Wade, what's up with all the guns you're carrying?" Finn questions, "I didn't think that heroes could use guns."

"Well, the thing is, I'm not 'technically' a hero." Deadpool informs, "I'm what you call a 'mercenary'."

"What's that?" Jake questions.

"A person who's hired to do an assortment of odd jobs." Deadpool answers, "Like retrieving an item, transporting an item, killing, being someone's bodyguard. Being someone's sex slave."

"That's sounds pretty coo-wait, what was that third one?" Jake replies, confused.

"Hey, Jake, look!" Finn says, pointing at a girl holding a black umbrella over her, "It's Marceline!"

"WHAT!" Jake screams, then looks at the girl Finn was pointing at and realizes he's right, "AAAAAHHHHHH!" Jake shrinks down, causing Deadpool and Finn to fall to the ground. He then leaps into the pocket on Finn's shirt, cowering inside.

"What's the matter with him?" Deadpool questions.

"He doesn't like Marceline that much." Finn answers, as him and Deadpool walk over to Marceline.

"Why's that?" Deadpool replies.

**[**'Cause this story was originally written at the start of Season 2.**]**

"Oh, Continuity, you are our bitch!" Deadpool announces.

"'Cause she's Queen of the Vampires." Finn explains. Deadpool's eyes widen. "Hey, Marceline!" Finn greets. Marceline turns, holding a now white strawberry in her hand.

"Oh, hey, Finn!" Marceline replies, "Where's Jake?" As Finn goes to reply, Marceline holds up her hand to stop him. "Let me guess, he's hiding in your shirt pocket?" Marceline says.

"Say no!" Jake whispers.

"I can hear you, Jake!" Marceline informs. Jake squeals a little in fear. Marceline then sees Deadpool, who was know sporting a red trench coat and fedora along with his attire. "Whoa, who's this guy?" Marceline questions, "I like his outfit."

"Dead Hellsing." Deadpool answers, "And I only have one question for you." Deadpool pulls out a crossbow and points it at Marceline's chest. "You ever sparkled with the merc in the bright sunlight?" he questions, glaring at Marceline.

"Wait, wha?" Marceline replies, very confused.

"In the light of the sun, would you sparkle like a float in a Gay Pride parade?" Deadpool says, "This is a serious question!"

"Shoot her, dude!" Jake orders, sticking his head out of Finn's pocket.

"Uh... no." Marceline replies, "I would sizzle up and die. That's why I'm using an umbrella."

"OH, THANK GOD!" Deadpool says, tossing the crossbow behind him.

"DARN IT!" Jake yells, going back into the pocket.

"Dude, what was that about?" Finn questions, confused.

"You should be thanking whatever god you worship that you guys aren't from my world." Deadpool states, "You guys don't have suffer such tortures!" Marceline and Finn look at each other, then back at Deadpool, very confused. "Anyway, sorry about that." Deadpool informs, removing his fedora and coat, "The name's Deadpool by the way."

"No problem." Marceline replies, "And cool name. I'm Marceline. How did you guys meet?"

"He showed up at our Tree Fort and looking for the Ice King." Finn answers.

"Why?" Marceline questions.

"You know, a lot of people question my reason." Deadpool states, "A bullet usually solves that problem, but let's just say that I'm a mercenary and be done with it."

"Whoa, Hero, you're hanging out with a mercenary?" Marceline says, surprised, looking a Finn, "You're cooler than I thought!"

"Really?" Finn replies, a little surprised, "I didn't know it was such a big deal."

"Didn't know it was a big deal?" Deadpool says, "Dude, you're hanging out with Deadpool: the Merc with the Mouth, here! I have a huge fan base! …At least, in the real world I do. Kinda just narrowed down to one guy in my world. But that doesn't matter!"

"He's pretty nuts, ain't he?" Marceline whispers to Finn.

"Kinda." Finn whispers back, "But he's cool to have around."

"What are you guys whispering about?" Jake whispers, poking his head back out of Finn's pocket.

"We're whispering about how bananas DP is." Finn whispers back.

"Oh yeah, I strongly agree with that." Jake whispers, "Guy's got major poo brains."

**[**They're talking about you.**]**

"Shut up, yellow boxes!" Deadpool orders. Finn, Jake and Marceline look at Deadpool, remaining silent. "What?" Deadpool questions.

"Nothing." all three reply.

"Anyway, I think it's about time we hurried to the Ice Kingdom." Finn states.

"Can I join you guys?" Marceline questions, "It seems like it might be fun!"

"Depends, are you legal?" Deadpool replies.

"I'm over a thousand years old." Marceline informs.

"You're in!" Deadpool says.

"Cool!" Finn states.

"Not cool!" Jake replies, "I'm not letting her ride on my back!"

"Come on, Jake, quit being a baby!" Finn says.

"Yeah, Jake, I won't bite... much." Marceline informs, then laughs a little.

"Funny, the last time I heard that, I was talking to a decapitated zombie head version of myself." Deadpool states.

"Fine, but no funny business, or Imma mess you up!" Jake says.

"I pwomise." Marceline replies in a cutesy tone, then pulls Jake out of Finn's pocket, "I'll be a wittle angel."

"That's frickin' weird, man!" Jake states, then grows in size and lands on the ground.

"Come on, guys!" Finn says, as he leaps onto Jake. Marceline floats up and sits down behind Finn. Deadpool climbs on behind Marceline.

"Hey, just a little heads up, don't freak out if anything pokes you." Deadpool says. Marceline's eyes widen a bit, just as Jake starts to take off.

"So, Wade, have you kicked a lot of bad guys' butts?" Finn questions.

"Well, they don't call me Deadpool for nothing." Deadpool replies.

**[**They call you it because it's your name**]**

"Anyway, why are you a hero?" Deadpool questions, "I'm sure you have a pretty cool origin story, right? Full of tragedy, romance, suspense, angst, any other genre I've neglected to mentions."

**[**And boobies!**]**

"And by boobies, we don't mean yours, chubby!" Deadpool states, poking Finn in the stomach. Finn slapped Deadpool's hand away, then cleared his throat.

"Well, when I was a just a wee one..." Finn starts to explain.

"Wait, when have you ever referred to yourself as a "wee one"?" Jake questions.

"It doesn't matter, dude." Finn replies.

"It just doesn't really sound right." Jake states.

"Fine." Finn groans, "When I was just a baby, I was all alone in the forest. And I went boom boom on a leaf. BOOM! BOOM! But then, I fell backwards on my own boom boom. I cried for a day, but no one would stop and help me, until they came. Jake's parents. Joshua and Margaret. They took me in and cleaned up my boom boom butt. And since that day forward, I vowed that I would help those in need and serve on the side of Justice." Deadpool just stares at Finn.

"Sadly, that isn't the dumbest origin I've ever heard." Deadpool states.

"Hey, dude, rolling around in your own boom boom all day isn't fun." Finn replies, "It's very rank and embarrassing when people see you."

"Yeah, that would suck." Marceline says.

"Please, it's a embarrassing every time I take off my mask!" Deadpool informs, "And I don't know why. I guess my beautiful face is just too much for people."

"Can we see?" Finn questions, excited and curious, "Please! Please! Please!" Deadpool thinks for a moment.

"I guess." Deadpool replies. Finn, Marceline, and Jake watch and wait. Deadpool then pulls up his mask, revealing his burnt, cancer ridden, face. Finn and Jake's faces light up in horror.

"Heh, that's pretty cool!" Marceline states.

"Thanks." Deadpool replies, then looks at Finn and Jake's faces. "...You okay, little buddies?" Deadpool questions.

**[**Put the mask back on.**]**

"Oh, right." Deadpool says, putting his mask back on. Finn and Jake shake their heads.

"What?" Finn questions, "Uh... yeah, you look okay!"

"Uh... yeah... you're hot, dude!" Jake states, trying to cover up his disgust.

"I know that." Deadpool replies, "You don't have to tell me." Deadpool then catches sight of something. "Hey, is that the Ice Kingdom?" Deadpool questions, pointing to a kingdom of snow and ice.

"Yeah, how'd ya know?" Finn replies.

"Eh, lucky guess." Deadpool answers. Jake starts to make his way up the icy pathway to the Ice Castle. Soon, the group reaches the main entrance to the castle. "Finally." Deadpool says, hoping off, followed by the others. Deadpool presses a doorbell, as the others stand next to him.

"Things are about to get good." Marceline states, grinning.

"What do you mean?" Jake questions, confused and a litte nervous about Marceline's grin.

**[**Again, still in Season 2!**]**

"Thanks for bringing me here, you guys." Deadpool says, as he pulls out two 9mms and cocks them.

"No problem." Finn replies, "And what are you doing with those?" Just then, the door to the Ice Castle opens, revealing the Ice King.

"What do ya want?" Ice King questions, before seeing the group, "Finn and Jake? What are you guys doing here? It's Thursday, our routine is usually on Tuesday." Finn was about to reply, only to be stopped by Ice King. "OH, you heard that it was Gunter's birthday today, didn't you?" Ice King replies, excited and feeling touched, "Aw, it's so nice that you came, and you brought friends! Gunter's gonna be so happy!"

"Actually, funny story, really, I'm here to kill you." Deadpool informs, pointing his guns at Ice King.

"Oh, well that's fine, but at least stay for some ca-WHHAAAAAAAAT?" Ice King screams in terror. Finn and Jake watch in complete shock. Finn quickly knocks both of Deadpool's arms up as he pulls the triggers, causing him to miss Ice King. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Ice King screams, running back inside the castle.

"DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Finn screams, in complete shock.

"Earning my 500k, bro!" Deadpool replies.

"BY KILLING ICE KING?" Finn yells.

"Yep." Deadpool says.

"HE'S A PSYCHO, FINN!" Jake yells, "I TOLD YOU HE HAS MAD POO BRAINS!"

"Hey, I may be a derranged sadistic killing machine, but I have feelings too!" Deadpool states, as he makes his way into the castle. Finn and Jake quickly rush in front of Deadpool.

"YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE TAKING CARE OF ICE KING!" Finn states.

"Finn, that's a mercenary term for "I'm going to kill"." Marceline informs.

"50 points to Gryffindor!" Deadpool announces, pointing at Marceline.

"Well, we're not gonna let that happen!" Finn states, as he pulls out his sword, "Right, Marceline?"

"Actually, I just came to watch the show." Marceline answers, then floats up into the air, "Yep, this should be a good spot."

"Fine, then it's just me and Jake!" Finn replies.

"Imma mess up your already messed up face!" Jake states, pounding his fists.

**[**But... you said it was beautiful!**]**

"Aw, but I was just starting to like you guys." Deadpool whines, then sighs "Oh well." Deadpool then starts to shoot at Finn and Jake, but the two manage to dodge the gunfire. Finn manages to block a few bullets with his sword, then charges at Deadpool. "Ah, a sword fight, huh?" Deadpool says, putting his guns away, "Well, bring it on, sucker!" Deadpool pulls out his katanas and swings them at Finn, who blocks them with his sword. Jake grabs an ice sword from off the wall and runs over to the two, then swings at Deadpool. Deadpool blocks with one of his katanas, then continues to connect blades with the two. "Ha, two guys at the same time!" Deadpool says, "No homo!" The three continue to connect blades, then Deadpool headbutts Jake and leg sweeps Finn. When Finn's on the ground. Deadpool puts his katanas away and pulls out one of his 9mms and points it at him. "Sorry, kid, but I've got business to attend to." Deadpool informs. Terrified, Finn swings his sword, which slices off Deadpool's hand. "AAAHH!" Deadpool squeals in a high pitch voice, as his hand hits the ground.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry!" Finn says, shocked. Deadpool bends over and picks up his hand.

"Great, I hate when this happens!" Deadpool states, as he places his hand back on his wrist. Within seconds, it was fully reattached without a scar. " But god, do I love healing factors." Deadpool says.

"Whoa!" Finn whispers to himself, in disbelief.

"Cool!" Marceline says, excited.

"No way, that's cheating!" Jake states.

"Hmm, what should I do now?" Deadpool questions himself.

**[**Reference Marvel vs Capcom 3?**]**

"Sweet!" Deadpool says. He puts his gun away and pulls out a grenade. "PINEAPPLE SURPRISE!" he yells, jumping backwards and throwing the grenade between Finn and Jake.

"TAKE COVER!" Finn yells, as him and Jake run away from the grenade. The grenade explodes, sending Finn and Jake skidding to the ground. Once the smoke has cleared, Finn and Jake rise to their feet. They both look around, but found Deadpool was nowhere in sight. "Where'd he go?" Finn questions.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" the two hear the Ice King scream.

"Come on, Jake!" Finn says, as him and Jake follow the scream.

Deadpool stood in Ice King's thrown room, firing at Ice King, as he cowers behind his ice recliner.

"TASTE MY ICY WRATH!" Ice King yells, blasting an ice beam from his hand at Deadpool. Deadpool quickly pulls out his katanas, while he's still holding his guns, and spins them, reflecting the beam in different directions. "OH, COME ON, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?" Ice King yells. Just then, Deadpool shoots the crown off of his head. "WOOOOOOOAAAAHHH!" Ice King screams, "MY CROWN! Without it, I'm powerless!"

"Thank you for announcing that, it makes my job a hell of a lot easier!" Deadpool states, then takes aim at Ice King's head. Before he could pull the trigger, he's slapped in the face by a black flipper. "The hell?" Deadpool questions. He then looks down to see a penguin with a birthday hat on its head in front of him.

"GUNTER, NO!" Ice King yells, in shock, "DON'T BE A HERO!" Gunter leaps up and slaps Deadpool again.

"Hey!" Deadpool says, "The hell is you're problem?"

"Wack!" Gunter replies, then leaps up and slaps Deadpool yet again.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD... or bitch?" Deadpool replies, a bit confused. Gunter leaps up slaps Deadpool once, causing him to Gunter across the room.

"WACK, WACK, WAAAAAAAACK!" Gunter screams, as it goes flying.

"GUNTER!" Ice King screams, then catches Gunter. He then looks up to see Deadpool aiming at the both of them. "Well, at least we'll die together, baby!" Ice King says, as tears start to form in his eyes.

"Wack." Gunter replies.

"Wait, what do ya mean you're immortal?" Ice King questions, confused. Deadpool goes to pull the triggers.

"WADE, STOP!" Finn orders, as him and Jake rush into the room.

"Aaww, come on!" Deadpool whines, "Stop adding suspense to an already suspenseful scene!" Ice King sees his crown laying next to him and quickly picks it up and puts it on his head.

"BA-ZAM!" Ice King yells, blasting another ice beam at Deadpool.

"What?" Deadpool replies, turning his head back, only for his entire body below his neck to be frozen, "AAAWWWW, GODDAMMIT!" Ice King stands and makes his way over to the others.

"WOOOOOO, SUCK IT!" Ice King cheers, the starts dancing around the frozen Deadpool, "Ice King: 1/ Crazy Guy: 0!"

"Killing isn't right, Wade!" Finn states.

"A nickle for every time I've heard that." Deadpool grumbles, "I'm just doing my job!"

"Not today... or any other day!" Jake replies, "...At least in Ooo, I guess."

"Yeah, they're kind of right." Marceline states, as she hovers into the room, "Killing isn't always the answer."

"Of course, it is!" Deadpool informs, "For instance, when you take another man's life, it's called...?"

"No, Wade, no more paid killings!" Finn replies, sternly.

"Aaawww, but if I don't kill him, I won't get that dolla dolla bill, ya'll!" Deadpool whines.

"Who hired you to kill me anyway?" Ice King questions, "That's a little harsh! I mean, I kidnap princesses! Is that a crime?"

"Eh, it was some purple, transvestite, balloon, thing with a star on its head." Deadpool answers.

"Lumpy Space Princess?" Finn replies, a little shocked.

"Yeah, that's the guy!" Deadpool informs, "She said she wanted to be responsible for getting rid of an evil ruler in the Land of Ooo. Said it would boost her status and impress some Brad guy."

"...Yeah, that's LSP." Jake says.

"Anyway, need the money, so gonna have to kill the old bastard." Deadpool states.

"You grob you are!" Ice King replies, angrily. Just then, a bullet zips past his head, "WHOA!" Deadpool managed to fire one of the guns trapped in the ice.

"Damn, so close!" Deadpool says, "Could you scooch over to the side a bit?" Finn thinks for a moment.

"Wait, I have an idea!" Finn informs.

"Does it involve killing?" Deadpool questions, a hopeful look on his face.

"Yes!" Finn answers, then shakes his head, "I mean, no! …Kind of! I don't really like doing this, but I think LSP needs to be taught!"

"Got it, we'll kidnap her and hold hear for ransom!" Deadpool states.

"What?" Finn replies, shocked, "No, we're not doing that!"

"Finn, what's going on in side that head of yours?" Jake questions, concerned.

"Trust me, Jake." Finn says, "This'll work."

A few hours later, Deadpool walks through Lumpy Space, until he reaches a house. He knocks on the door to the house, then waits for a moment. Just then, Lumpy Space Princess answers the door, with her phone to her ear. She smiles when she sees Deadpool.

"Oh my glob, like, Becky, I gotta go!" Lumpy Space Princess says, then hangs up her phone, "Hey, Deathfool, ya get the job done?"

"Indeed, I have." Deadpool replies, "Now, where's the money?"

"Hold on, hot stuff." Lumpy Space Princess replies, "I need, like, proof and junk before I can pay you."

"Not a problem." Deadpool replies, then holds up a portable DVD player. It shows Ice King cowering on the ground in front of Deadpool.

"Oh no, he has my crown, now I'm powerless." Ice King says.

"FREEZE WELL!" Deadpool yells, then freezes Ice King solid. Jake could be seen standing in the background.

"Psst, Jake, you're in the shot!" Finn's voice could be heard whispering from off camera. Jake was surprised by this, then quickly scooches out of the camera shot. Deadpool then pulls out a giant hammer and flings it at the frozen Ice King, smashing him to bits.

"Deadpool wins... FATALITY!" Deadpool announces.

Deadpool closes the DVD player.

"Wow, ya actually did it!" Lumpy Space Princess says, "Kewl!"

"Now, about my fee?" Deadpool replies.

"Oh, yeah." Lumpy Space Princess says, then tosses a bag of money to Deadpool, "Took this from, like, my parents' savings account."

"A pleasure doing business with you." Deadpool says, then strolls away from the house, "Remember to tell your friends about my services! I run a two for one deal on Saturdays!"

"OMG, I have to tell Melissa about this!" Lumpy Space Princess states, pulling out her phone. Just then, a pure white Ice King appears in front her,

_"Wooooooo, you killed meeeeeee!"_ Ice King moans, anger in his eyes.

"AAAAAHHH, GHOST!" Lumpy Space Princess screams, horrified as she floats back inside her house and slams the door. Just then, Finn, Jake, Marceline, and Deadpool walk over to Ice King.

"Good job, dude." Finn says.

"Thanks, I took acting lessons in college." Ice King informs.

"You went to college?" Jake replies, surprised.

"What, who said that?" Ice King questions, confused. Jake just stands there silently.

"I have to admit, that was a pretty cool plan, Finn." Marceline states.

"Yeah, dude, good job!" Jake adds.

"Thanks." Finn replies, "I don't really like cheating people out of money, but in this case, LSP deserved it."

"So true." Deadpool says, then turns to Ice King, "Sorry 'bout the whole... you know, trying to kill you thing. We cool?"

"I guess." Ice King replies, "Just don't ever try it again."

"Yeah, yeah, Finn already gave me this lecture." Deadpool states, "Not gonna try to kill anybody for money in the Land of Ooo again. Blah, blah, blah."

"So, what are ya plannin' on doing now, Wade?" Finn questions.

"Well, I'm not gonna be in any new comics for a bit." Deadpool replies, "And Jonny T doesn't need me around until his next 'Death To...' story. So, I guess I'll hang around here for awhile."

"Cool!" Jake says.

"Yeah, you can stay with us at the Tree Fort and go on adventures and stuff!" Finn informs.

"Sure, on one condition." Deadpool states, as he leans in and give the two an intimidating look, "There will be no Finn and Jake slash stories while I'm around!"

"Uh... okay." Finn replies, confused.

"Cool." Deadpool says, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go blow this money on some really pointless stuff. Care to join me, Marceline?"

"Sure, dude." Marceline answers, smiling. Her and Deadpool leave together. "Bye, guys." Marceline says, then turns to Deadpool, "Did I ever tell you that I dig a guy in red?" Deadpool is silent for a moment.

"I smell sitcom!" Deadpool states.

**[**Marceline and Deadpoooooooooool! A vampire and a foooooooooool!**]**

"So, you guys wanna come back to the Ice Kingdom for the rest of Gunter's birthday party?" Ice King questions, "We're having cake!" Finn and Jake look at each other awkwardly.

"Uh... yeah... uh..." Jake tries to say.

"Weeee CAN'T... 'cause, uh... we have to do a thiiinnngg..." Finn tries to lie.

"...It's Red Velvet." Ice King informs. Finn and Jake look at each other again.

"Eh, sure." Finn answers, shrugging.

"Sounds good to me." Jake replies. Finn turns to Jake.

"Another job well done!" Finn states, then bumps fists with Jake.

**The End**

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading and I really hope you enjoyed this story. I'm surprised of how long I've made it. This is honestly the longest oneshot I've done so far. And if you guys loved it, I'll try to write some more. But until then, I'm out! Please Review. Thanks.<strong>


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